精东传媒

Ready to sharpen your leadership skills? There are seemingly endless resources available to help hone those skills, with the giant e-commerce site Amazon alone offering over 60,000 books related to leadership. With topics ranging from emotional intelligence to workplace culture to daily routines, better leadership capabilities seem to be only a few technical adjustments away.

While books and courses are essential for leadership development, if you ask Dr. Joshua Weiss, 精东传媒’s program director for the MS in Leadership and Negotiation and a Senior Fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project, there’s another place to begin: by looking in the mirror. “Leadership is within us,” Weiss shared. “If you really want to be effective, you have to turn the mirror on yourself first.”

A firm believer that leaders can be made instead of born, Weiss stresses the importance of strengthening your emotional intelligence and understanding your inner workings before you tackle learning how to lead others. “You have to know yourself, how you think about things, how you approach things, your biases, what helps you, what stands in your way—all of these things impact your thinking,” he shared. “Half of your challenges are out there, with other people and the dynamics at play. But half are within you. You’ll become a better leader if you focus on the things outside, but you won’t become a great leader until you focus on the things inside.

"For women in particular, some of that work involves breaking out of the traditional cultural and societal roles that are baked into their everyday lives and learning that they are worthy of their goals and ambitions. 鈥淎sserting for themselves is the biggest problem for many of my students,鈥� shared Weiss. 鈥淭hey鈥檝e been put into positions where they鈥檝e tried to be assertive and it wasn鈥檛 met with the response they were hoping for.鈥�

Weiss offers a two-step approach to overcome this challenge. First, it鈥檚 important to understand the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. 鈥淎ssertiveness is standing on your own two feet,鈥� said Weiss. 鈥淎ggressiveness is standing on someone else鈥檚 toes to get to where you want to go. Effective leaders don鈥檛 step on other鈥檚 toes. You may get a boost up by doing that, but you鈥檙e making an enemy.鈥�

Once comfortable diving into your assertiveness, it鈥檚 important to let others know that they can expect a change in you. 鈥淚t can be difficult for coworkers to accept a quick, sudden, 鈥榣ean in鈥� type of change,鈥� Weiss said, referring to the Sheryl Sandberg book that sparked these types of discussions around dinner tables and conference tables everywhere in 2013. 鈥淵ou have to communicate that you are no longer willing to have your needs go unmet and how you will be approaching things will change.鈥�

The need to communicate effectively doesn鈥檛 stop there. Vision is key to leadership, but equally as important is knowing how to communicate that vision so people buy into it. 鈥淢aking people a part of the process is crucial, and it鈥檚 important to respect the connection between leader and led,鈥� Weiss said. 鈥淭hat connection also requires flexibility and adaptability, as people can be unpredictable. It鈥檚 important to be firm on your end goal,鈥� Weiss shared. 鈥淏ut how you get there should be flexible. Have contingency plans. Map out three or four avenues that can get you to the same end goal.鈥�

Part of that planning process involves crystal-clear communication. 鈥淲hen it comes to working with others, make sure you鈥檙e talking about the same problem. People make assumptions all the time, and assumptions and perceptions are the silent killers of effective leadership. Words and ideas have connotations and you have to be really clear what you mean, especially if you are using concepts or words with multiple meanings,鈥� shared Weiss.

And if your plan still fails? That鈥檚 where your resilience and persistence kicks in. 鈥淚f your narrative is that you鈥檙e going to fail, then you鈥檒l fail. If you want to stick with that narrative, you鈥檒l make it true,鈥� Weiss stated. 鈥淭he best leaders are resilient and persistent. They are unwilling to accept that there isn鈥檛 a solution to a problem, instead accepting that they haven鈥檛 found the solution鈥�yet.鈥�

Finding that solution may include compromise, but it鈥檚 much more likely about creativity. 鈥淟eadership is all about problem solving. It鈥檚 realizing what the problem is and finding a solution that might satisfy yourself and those you are dealing with,鈥� Weiss said. It may also involve digging a little deeper, embracing both emotional reactions to the issue at hand and being confident enough to accept when you don鈥檛 have the answer. 鈥淟eaders can鈥檛 know everything, and it鈥檚 okay to show your vulnerability,鈥� Weiss shared. 鈥淵ou can鈥檛 keep emotions out of leadership. When you start to suppress your emotions, that鈥檚 where problems come in. This emotional intelligence piece is critical for great leadership.鈥�

That shift in mindset and that ability to be creative and adaptive are at the heart of what makes a great leader. 鈥淲hen we look for leadership, we often look at the political realm,鈥� Weiss stated. 鈥淏ut leadership is at every level. At home, at school, and in the world around us. And leadership is not really a role, it鈥檚 more about actions. Just because you鈥檙e not in the C-suite doesn鈥檛 mean you don鈥檛 have the ability to lead and it鈥檚 not critical that you learn to do this. You have to see yourself as a leader. We all do and we all are. In today鈥檚 world, more than ever before, we need people to act like leaders.鈥�

Leadership is within us. If you really want to be effective, you have to turn the mirror on yourself.鈥�